The Real Reason Escape the Fate Broke Up
by TheLightBulbPokemon
Summary: A crack story me and my friend wrote about why we "think" ETF broke up


**A/N: "Making pants" is an inside joke. It can mean having sex or literally making pants. It came to be when we noticed Ronnie Radke and Andy Sixx have similiar pants.**

**A/N2: Sorry for the crack-ness of this, and for any grammer/spelling mistakes (too lazy to spell check), and for the fact that it's not really a story (:**

Ronnie: Talk to the hand cause the face ain't here.  
Max: What the Hell Ronnie I thought we were pals.  
Ronnie: Oh sorry, I didn't mean it, I thought you were Omar. (kisses cheek). Are you ok?  
Max: I guess so. Can you do it again? (Points to cheek)  
Ronnie: Sure...  
(Ronnie leans over. Max moves causing them to kiss on the lips)  
Ronnie: What the?  
Max: Mmm...that was...good tasting. Do you where lip gloss?  
Ronnie: No...maybe...yes.  
Max: I like it, it's fruity. Wanna go make pants?  
Ronnie: What do you think? Hell yeah!  
(they walk off & into Ronnie's bunk. Situations starts to play)

Omar: I hate Ronnie  
Monte: Why? It's fun to see him get drunk and do awkward things.  
Omar: Yeah but that's all he's good for  
Monte: Just watch, one day his addictions will screw up his life and we'll get all his money (evil grin)  
Omar: Shhh  
Monte: Did you just shush me?  
Omar: Shhh  
Monte: What the Hell?  
Omar: Can't you hear? Ronnie's pant making song  
Monte. Oh yeah...ew  
Omar: What, where's Max?  
(Omar looks towards Ronnie's bunk and shutters)  
Monte: I'm sorry Omar, I think we've lost him to the magical misty  
wonders of Ronnie Radke  
Omar: No!  
(Monte pats Omar on the shoulder as he weeps. Omar reaches towards  
Ronnie's bunk epically)  
Omar: he was my stage buddy!  
(Omar gets up runs to the bunks and bangs on the door.)  
Omar: Max! Maxxxxxiiiieee!

(After some hot pants making in Ronnie's bunk)  
Max: (licks Ronnie) Sweaty, I like it. That was fun, we need to do  
this more.  
Ronnie: Yeah...but I think Omar & Monte are onto us.  
Max: (seductively) They won find out (kisses Ronnie)  
(Ronnie & Max set the pants they were making down and turn their heads towards the door as they hear something outside. Omar barges in)  
Max: (Quickly pushes Ronnie away & hides pants) It's not what it looks like!  
Ronnie: What? It's exactly what it looks like! Are you denying me...us? And our pants making?  
Max: No...well...yeah. You see...me and Omar got drunk one night. One thing led to the next and...we made pants.  
Ronnie: What the Hell? I thought what we had was special!  
Max: You get whores after shows!  
Ronnie: But we all share them! It's different!  
Omar: Hold up, I'm confused. I thought what we had Max was special. We were stage buddies! And I thought that meant something to you!

(Monte comes in with a foam baseball bat)  
Monte: What the Hell is going on in here?  
(Ronnie and Omar point to Max)  
Both: It's him! He cheated on us!  
Monte: What?  
Ronnie: Me and Max had something special, we made pants together. And now I found out he cheated on me with Omar. Apparently it wasn't special to him.  
Omar: And I thought me and Max were stage buddies. We made pants together once too!  
Max: Ronnie, you're the one I like making pants with, Omar is my stage buddy, not my pants making buddy!  
Ronnie: Whatever. You obviously don't care about me! I can't believe we made pants together!  
Max: Ronnie! I'm sorry!  
Omar: What about me? You were my stage buddy, & you killed t!  
Max: Omar, I care about you too! Just not in the same way I love Ronnie!  
Omar: You know what man, I'm sick of you. I'm leaving this damn band. I can't stand being around Max and Ronnie and their stupid relationship!  
(Omar leaves, slamming the door behind him)  
Monte: Look what you did, Max.  
Max: I'm sorry!  
Ronnie: You know what? I'm sick of you and your willingness to make pants with every guy who becomes your buddy! Omar has the right idea, I'm leaving too!  
(Ronnie storms off)  
Max: Ronnie! Wait! I love you!  
Monte: (shakes head) Look what you caused you dumb ass.  
(Hits Max with bat. Max falls over)  
Robert come out of the bathroom, looks down at Max on the ground, to the open door, then Monte.)  
Robert: What happened? Is Max dead?  
Monte: We lost 2 band members because Max is a player, so I hit him.  
(Robert takes the bat from Monte and hits Max a few times, then drops the bat)  
Robert: Ok, I'm gonna go get some food, wanna come?  
(Monte nods)  
Monte: Sure. There's some Lunchables in the fridge. We should make a point of leaving the cheese for Max. (evil grin)

Robert: I agree.  
(They leave)  
The end!

"We do not hate Max. But Ronnie's too stupid & Omar's too white for them  
to be players, so Max is" –My friend (Emily)


End file.
